I received two desperate messages this week. Two separate people asking for me to fix their problems. (Yes, both requests included money.) Yes, I know I’m a counselor and yet, it wasn’t like: Hi Susan, I need help figuring out my life. They were like: This person did this to me. (I got arrested.) That person did that to me. (I can’t pay my lawyer fees.) Meaning: My life’s a mess and I carry no responsibility for it.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
Here are a few suggestions. Take them or leave them. P.S. Call me on my ‘Shi-’ too please!
1. Tell three people your complaint and afterward, stop your bitching. (OMG, two swear words already, sorry.) Choose those confidants wisely.
2. Ask, “What have I done that has brought me here?”
3. Ask, “How can I change?”
4. Frigging do something about it.
Example: You can’t hold a job since you have massive anxiety. Yet, you drink and drug like a rock star. Healthy idea? No, alcohol and drugs cause more depression and anxiety. Believe me, I know. STOP. Seek help.
Example: You can’t pay the last of your lawyer’s bills. You knew these bills were coming. Get a weekend job. Don’t ask me for the money last minute.
Wow, this is not my normal, gentle way. Maybe the people who actually need to hear this won’t. But, we can all benefit from putting on our big girl panties once in a while and taking care of business!
Thank you for listening to me blow off steam. Now I’m off to clean my place. I don’t want to, but if I want to live in a clean home, I must.
Still a softy most of the time, Susan
Beautiful Energy-Accept Responsibility exercise video: