The Evolution of Choice
During a recent meditation, a thought arose that was so clear and loud I stopped and wrote it down. It was a simple, bold-faced statement, ‘I really need a lot of love.’ As I sat with it and felt into it, I realized that it didn’t mean I was lonely, or I needed more people to love me or I needed to love myself more. It was simply that I needed to live in love. Fully unconditional, completely accepting, always there kind of love.
We tend to think love comes from other people, or our pets, or that we are supposed to get it from someplace inside us, like throwing a bucket down a well and hauling it up. There is an underlying assumption that love is a kind of commodity that is measurable and tradeable, and that some people get more than others. As long as we believe this, we will never have enough love.
This is a world where love of all kinds can be in short supply, and big, unconditional love is elusive and rare. But that’s the kind of love we are all longing for and need. Love isn’t of any real use to us unless it is all over the place, everywhere, and in everything. It is our natural home, the place we can feel taken care of, find peace, and be happy.
The world can make us feel we don’t deserve love, or that it must have limits, but our deeper self knows that is nonsense. When A Course in Miracles says that, “It is not that you ask for too much, it is that you settle for far too little” we feel the truth of that, and also relief as we are freed from a sense of deprivation or reliance on meager substitutes.
As we come to really understand this, our orientation to the world reverses. Love, which has been fickle and ephemeral and in the background, comes to the foreground and becomes our steady reality. It is in the air we breathe, it flows through our senses and alters our vision. When we get knocked out of it, we come back quickly because we can’t stay away.
Eventually the world, with all of its constant changes, assumes a smaller dimension in our consciousness and recedes to the background. We still experience its pleasures and still see suffering and seek to alleviate it where we can, but it no longer has the authority to dispense or take away love. We continue to live in this little world, but are no longer of it, knowing instead we belong to a greater reality, one that offers freedom instead of limitation. The world is included in love, instead of the other way around.
This reorientation doesn’t happen overnight, but once we set the intention, we proceed along a path that is unique to each of us. Mine includes greater commitment now that I know for sure what it is I really need out of this life.
This is what I am going to be doing this fall, and beyond.