Finding Your Higher Purpose
Awareness hurts. This is a truth that most spiritual people fail to recognize and discuss. The result is a false presumption that spiritual awakenings (and awareness in general) always yield positive feelings. They do not. In fact, most shifts in consciousness ebb and flow between moments of healing clarity and haunting realizations. One day is filled with a deep sense of comfort in newfound knowledge about our reality, the next is a sharp contrast of understanding that so many people we interact with are in pain. This is normal.
Over the course of my spiritual journey I have struggled with the expectation to always “feel good” while expanding. There have been numerous situations in which I became frustrated with myself for experiencing pain after having just realized a beautiful new reality about human consciousness. I began to expect that each new revelation should leave me feeling great with no residual pains. This mindset was incredibly damaging, and it also hindered my ability to move through the shifting process. Holding resistance to any emotion (at any stage in your journey) never ends in growth or integration.
When I speak to people about conscious shifts I often use the pop-culture comparison of the movie, The Matrix. I can think of no better illustration for the feeling of complete and utter bewilderment that often accompanies awakenings. I have vivid memories of sitting at my desk at work, looking up from my computer screen, and coming to the realization that I was sitting in a sea of people who were living unconscious lives – and suffering for it. Of course, this results in a deep desire to help everyone (not to mention shake everyone “awake”).
At this point you may be asking yourself why would I ever want to shift my consciousness? It sounds so painful. I do not want to skip over the benefits of living in conscious awareness – truthfully, after having lived the beginning years of my life deeply rooted in the perspective of the ego I can attest to the healing benefits of expanding and allowing the higher-self to be the lens through which you choose to view the world. What are these benefits?
Every single moment of pain and struggle begins to serve a purpose. There is an extraordinary moment in an awakening when situations that used to only cause you pain (mental, emotional, physical) take on a higher purpose. You come to the understanding that each struggle you face is placed before you to aid in your continued expansion. Suffering gains meaning – the most important form of meaning; life purpose. Not only do you recognize the true reason behind your suffering, you also become equipped to process it more effectively.
When you choose to operate from an elevated state of consciousness you gain an advanced form of emotional intelligence. You are able to recognize cover emotions (i.e. anger) for what they truly are – a fractured aspect of your being designed to make you feel safe when threatened and vulnerable. This enables you to validate and then move beyond the emotions causing you to feel uncomfortable. My favorite example to use in this case is road rage. It is something most of us can relate to and on the surface it seems pretty cut and dry – we become agitated because other people are incompetent and do not know how to drive, right? The actual emotional response most of us have goes a lot deeper. The underlying emotion is one of fear. We are frightened because our state of physical safety was called into question when the “incompetent driver” chose to cut us off.
The part of you that is acting out of anger is there to make you feel safe; it becomes instinctual to many of us because we have not been taught how to build a relationship with our emotions. This is where awareness comes in. When you dedicate yourself to living consciously it becomes easier to pinpoint cover emotions and address them appropriately. You cannot integrate emotions if you never get to the root of the “problem”.
The main point I want you to take away is that there is no such thing as a spiritual regression – that is to say, you cannot “lose” any progress you have made towards awareness. Many people think that every time they experience anger or sadness they have failed to retain the information they had learned from a previous awakening. This is not possible – each emotional trigger you come across is a new opportunity for you to expand; it is a chance to reach a new level of awareness. Be soft with yourself through the process. You cannot “do it wrong”.