It amazes me how fast things can crumble in just a blink of an eye as the state of the world and economy is in despair. I did not know this was possible that the whole entire planet could shut down. But I know there is a reason; life will be changed and better for everyone.
When it first happened, I wondered what the purpose was for myself to be punished in this fashion. Then as things got messy, I pondered on what changes the universe had in store for us as a human race. I am one of the lucky ones where nothing horribly bad has happened to me, but I want to share my story, its devastating effects and how that turned into a calm state of knowing everything was wonderful with life.
I had heard about COVID-19 early in the year but never really took anything seriously. As superior as it may sound I just thought, “It won’t happen to me.” My husband had to travel to Scotland, and I was so excited to join him the following week when he had finished working. I live in Florida and my parents live in Ohio, so I was headed to Cleveland to drop my kids off.
Now things were starting to get a little more serious in the world and I did not really have much care as it had not affected me. Then I am not sure really what happened, but around the second of March I woke up and started crying uncontrollably — for about two days.
My intuition was telling me something devastating was about to happen and I didn’t know what, why or when.
I think I instinctively knew the weight of the world was on my shoulders and things were about to change left and right for everyone. I got up the next day and went to work not so much feeling sad that day, but anxious and stressed to come home to my husband telling me his trip had been cancelled. I was a mess again for days as I had been looking forward to it for a long time. We had spent so much money and now I was calling, emailing and waiting long hold times on the phone.
I was determined to still go to Ohio because well, this thing was just so silly. I was in denial and not taking things seriously. I planned to stay an extra week after I came back from Scotland. My brother, my baby niece and sister were flying in. I flew on March 11th and things kind of kicked in for United States that evening. My brother and sister never made it. We decided we better take an earlier flight home so there I was, again annoyed and again calling and changing the ticket. That flight was cancelled so I was in another small panic, but we were able to get home four days later.
Then I lost my job. Adjusting to life at home was interesting as we couldn’t go or do anything. My kids started homeschooling and I was annoyed because they constantly needed help with everything. The close quarters were making us get on each other’s nerves and there was a lot of fighting with my two boys.
We are all healthy, safe, and have food and shelter so now let me tell you what I know and learned.
I knew some sort of change was coming as I sensed it was going to happen. I tapped in to align with what I knew and found a new calm state of living. I started to realize how nice it was to all be together and I am taking life slower and enjoying every moment instead of feeling so rushed to get things done. I am waking up each day to find the brilliance inside me as I reflect and enjoy life. I have come out better from this process. We needed to fall apart in order to fall together.
We needed this time to grow, change and trust the process. When we are allowed to come out of our shell life it will be extremely different for everyone and individuals will be more aware of things, living positively and spreading good in the world. We are like caterpillars who are in our cocoons and will transform into beautiful butterflies boosting love and joy.