Never “Should” Your Way Through Life

by | Mar 1, 2014 | Wellness | 0 comments

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How often do you say “I should”…as in “I should do this” or “I should have done that”?

The word “Should” shouldn’t even be in our dictionary.  It’s WAY overused and in my opinion, we could do without it! It’s amazing how we live our life solely on what we “should” be doing or what we “should” look like, be like, act like rather then just “being” simply who we are.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where they begin to say (when proving a point), “Well, they said…..” and you say, “Who’s they?” and the person you are talking to says, “You know!”… well, no actually I don’t!  Usually “they” is the media or someone in power who feels they need to make assumptions on what society deems “acceptable”.  I believe it is our birthright to be accepted as we are as long as we are living out of love, not fear.   For instance, I’m not saying that if you wanted to go around hurting people then that is acceptable, but what I AM saying is that if we are to create peace and harmony in this world we have to start accepting all beings as their true authentic selves.

 What if we let go of all the “should’s” and just lived life…

I know first hand how difficult it is on the body to do things the “should” way.  The “should” way could mean over-indulging in drugs or alcohol in order to fit in or eating junk food in order to be fun and adventurous, overspending to have the top designer clothes.  Perhaps you’ve been yo-yo dieting for years because you’re under the impression that in order to be loved and admired, you “should” be thin!  Maybe you have entered into a career you hate but it’s what you thought you “should” do or perhaps married at a very young age because you were told you “should”…. Yikes! Do you see how many times we do things on the premise of “I should”?

What if we let go of all the “should’s” and just lived life in a way that was the truest expression of ourselves! Ahh…just saying that gives me a sense of freedom and joy.

I invite you to think about all the things you are doing in your life right now that were forced by “should” and not by desires!!  Scary right?

For instance, I can look back to when I entered my 3rd year of college and I went for “business” because that’s what I was told I “should” do.  However, I can remember this bubbling up in my body that I wanted to do something bigger and grander regarding health & the body but nobody talked about health or the body much at the time so I dismissed those gut instincts and did what I “should” do.  I remember always being so worried about my weight to the point where it was killing me because I thought I “should” look a certain way to find love and be loved.

Do you see now why we should never “should” ourselves into anything?

Here are a few things you can do right now to begin to get real with who you desire to be in this world and get rid of all the “should’s” in your life starting now.  You will feel like you lifted a ton of weight off your “should”-ers (yep, that’s where we carry it!) and you might actually lose the weight on your body if that is something you’ve been struggling with (trust me!)

  1. Make a list of all the things you are doing in life that are based on “I should”
  2. Pinpoint where those “should’s” came from – society, family, friends, media?
  3. Make a list of all the things you could replace those “should’s” with. (aka – truest desires).  For example, who do you really want to be in the world, what do you want to do, how do you want to act?
  4. Feel into how it would feel to get rid of those “should’s” – are you ready?
  5. If you are ready – begin to release and start acting from truth and desires not “should’s”.

Take your time with this. These “should’s” usually come from a deep, dark place that is blocking us from revealing our true selves.  The good news is once you’re ready to release them, you are well on your way towards freeing the “should’s” and stepping deeper into your power as your true authentic unique self.  Hmmmm, how does that feel?

Dana Canneto
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