The Blessing of Reset is Conscious Shifting
Several years ago, I was in a serious car accident. It was dusk. I was driving on a curvy stretch of road when it began to rain lightly. I was listening to uplifting music, completely content. I was on my way to a beautiful candlelight ceremony during a Catholic men’s retreat where my husband was a team member. It was being held in a chapel on what I believe is sacred ground. The next thing I remember I was upside down heading towards bright headlights that were coming closer and closer. Sliding down the hill on the roof of the car, I realized I had no control – the brakes and steering couldn’t help me. I looked to the right and left seeing sparks. It was surreal. Time stood still.
My next thoughts were of my husband and son. I had a fleeting moment of profound sadness for leaving them that turned into peacefulness from a knowing they would be fine. I believed everything would be all right whether I lived or died. Then I had a knowing I was going to be okay. “Be still and know that I am God.” I can still feel the hands that engulfed and protected me.
The car gradually came to a stop. It was very quiet. Suddenly, people were running to help me. I was calm yet a little shaky. Things seemed normal except I was hanging upside down secured only by the seatbelt and shoulder harness. The car seemed intact except for glass from the shattered sunroof. I wondered how I was going to release the belt and get out of the car. As it was, I had only a slight cut on my right palm from broken glass.
A young couple helped me crawl out of the door they pried open. I sat on the side of the road for a bit to get oriented. I still didn’t grasp what had happened. I felt like I was watching everything from afar. Traffic was lined up on both sides of the two-lane road.
When approached by medical personnel, I spoke politely to tell them I was a doctor and was fine. As they were loading my totaled car on the tow truck, I asked a kind police officer if I could get a ride down the road where I could find someone to take me home. He said it wasn’t procedure, but he would help. I gathered what I could from the car and he drove me to the retreat center. When I walked in, they were just getting started since several had been delayed due to the accident. I smiled and told them I was the cause of the delay. I received many shocked looks which led to loving hugs and began my healing process.
I couldn’t have chosen a better place to go after such an experience. The ceremony was packed with family and friends of the retreat. Deep faith and joy were expressed in song and scripture. The energy is always amazing. I feel close to God and connected to the Universe whenever I’m on that holy ground.
It all seems like a dream to me now. To get more insight, I sometimes look at my life as a dream. I’ve learned a dream and every person, place or thing in it is about the dreamer. I see the car on the curvy road as the way I was moving through life – unaware, back and forth, and a little upside down at times. Light represents awareness. Strangers in a dream are parts of me I’m discovering – these were friendly and helpful. Hands help me to see the purpose in my life. The EMTs and police officer are disciplined aspects of myself to which I was nice yet dismissive. Through it all I was surrounded by spiritual aspects – heavenly hands, the chapel, a sacred ceremony, and priests.
This life altering event stimulated much personal growth for me. I was content in my life though I was relatively unaware of what I was creating around me. It was time to wake up; to get to know myself in a deeper, more spiritual way and to discover a higher purpose. Greater discipline of my mind is teaching me to slow down and better control my thoughts. I’m better at responding instead of reacting to people and situations. Like most, I want more freedom and understand it comes from responsibility and structure. I recently heard that the seed of love is found in surrender. Instead of control, I choose to focus on connectedness – with my Self and with others. Now, when I feel indecisive or a little upside down, I reflect on one of the most harrowing experiences in my life as a time when I felt safe, supported, and loved.