Thriving in The Face of Change
Thoreau said, “People lead lives of quiet desperation.” When we really think about that statement it is pretty much true. However, I revisited that statement and altered it slightly. I think people are leading lives of “frantic desperation” especially as we experience a pandemic.
How many people do you know who are what I would call “grounded” at peace with all that is going on in their lives, enjoying their lives to the fullest? Frankly, I don’t know many who are. I think most people are doing the best they can during these strange times. But our current time is very unsettling with so many unknowns that it can be a daily challenge to “be at peace” with yourself or others.
There are so many who are frantic about losing their jobs or having lost their job because of COVID-19, their money situation – can’t collect unemployment because systems don’t work, their health, their family situation, the upheavals happening all around the world with weather catastrophes, wars that go on and on and who knows what else. Do you know anyone who seems to be frantic or feeling desperate? Are you?
What can we do about this feeling of desperation, of feeling frantic?
I think the first thing to do is to be kind to ourselves. For the most part, many people spend a lot of their thoughts during the day beating themselves up for things they “should have done” feeling guilty for something they now think they “should not have done” and worrying about the things they “should do” to possibly make life better.
That is a lot of wasted time and energy!
I like the suggestion from Louise Hay when she says to get rid of the word “should” from your vocabulary because all it does is to make you feel guilty about something someone else thinks you ought to do. She also suggests that you change the word to “could” and you will change the whole perspective. From “you should have done . . . to, you could have done.” Doesn’t that feel better already? It empowers you to make your choice and you can let go of the need to please someone else about something that really is not important or that you really do not want to do.
Reduce frantic-ness by choosing to be in the moment. Really. You have probably heard lots of talk about this from many sources, so I am just reminding you. All you have in your life is this moment right now.
Stop . . . stop reading right now and let that thought sink in. . . . . . . .
We can plan for the future, life would be no fun at all without having a few plans for fun, family, work and all the other things we do. But when we spend so much time and energy agonizing, worrying about the bills to pay, the projects we must do; we waste our life away.
We also spend a lot of time thinking about the past and what we should have done about this or that, or what someone else did or said to us. What difference does it really make in your life today? If you take a moment to realize that whomever or whatever you are dwelling on is controlling your life, is that what you want? Do you want those people from your past controlling your life today? This moment? Probably not. If not, make a choice to be in this one moment you have, fully aware of who you are and what is really important to you. If you do that, I bet you can, for just this moment, let all that other stuff go. Sometimes we have to do that moment to moment to get ourselves into a new habit of thinking.
Don’t worry so much about what other people think about you or what you do. Most people don’t give us much thought at all – they are spending their time worrying about themselves!
Be kind to YOU and the love and kindness you show for yourself will ripple out to others. It makes for a much better world and it might be the perfect example that will help someone else get out of the “frantic desperation” mode.
Until the next time . . .
Love, light and joy!