Let’s take a look at fitness from the perspective of the subconscious mind. The subconscious is really what determines our behavior, so it also determines how you respond to your physical and mental fitness. But for this discussion, let’s focus on your physical fitness and how your subconscious programming is affecting you.
Start by asking yourself how you feel about your physical fitness. Now remember, for this to help you, you need to be painfully honest with yourself. You don’t need to share this with anyone, so just take a deep breath and be willing to really take a hard look at what is actually happening in your life. You can go back to fooling yourself later if you’d like, but for now, just allow yourself to be honest about yourself this very minute. Take a good honest look at yourself and ask yourself, “Am I as fit as I’d like to be?”
Now, answer yourself without censoring your response. What comes up? Notice the first impulse, the very first response to the questions. It is something like, “Sure, I’m healthy enough. I’m sure I could feel better, but I’m okay.” Or is it a resounding, “Yes, absolutely.” If your response is closer to the first one, and you find yourself making excuses for why you aren’t fit, or why you don’t live a healthier life style, then maybe you have some negative programming that is holding you back from being your best self.
Maybe you try to stay fit by eating right, getting plenty of exercise and drinking enough water, you know, doing all the things we hear about on a daily basis that are supposed to garner us physical fitness. Yet, despite your best efforts, you just cannot lose weight. Or stop eating chocolate, or ice cream, or make yourself go to the gym on a regular schedule? And you keep wondering why, even though you have the best intentions.
Subconscious programming could be the answer. Many times we have strong secondary gains for not changing, in this case, for not being as fit as you’d like. The secondary gain is the programming that keeps you stuck even though you want to change.
“So,” you ask, “how do I figure out if I have a secondary gain affecting me?” First, you uncover what your subconscious programming is in relation to the issue.
“And how do I do that?”
A good place to start is to look at your family. Many times we have an unconscious desire to stay connected to our family, or a parent. We’ll maintain that connection even at our own peril. I want to share with you my own experience of this. I recently started gaining weight again. I was doing all the things I had done before, but I was getting heavier. When I used this uncovering process on myself, I discovered that on an emotional level being overweight was a way to stay connected to my Mom. My Mom was very overweight, and I discovered that I was expected to be overweight too. One reason was because that helped her feel better about herself. My Mom passed away a year ago, and I have been thinking about her a lot, so gaining weight again was keeping me connected to my Mom. Despite my conscious efforts to once again lose weight, I couldn’t. You see, I didn’t want to lose my connection to Mom so my efforts failed.
However, now that I have uncovered that secondary gain and processed my false beliefs and lifelong programming around my mom and my weight, I am beginning to shed the extra pounds. It is amazing how this works.
But for you, maybe it is not your family. So ask yourself this: “Being out of shape lets me……….” Then fill in the blank. (You can ask yourself the question in different ways to keep digging the answers up.) But no matter what you ask, remember to answer without censoring yourself.
Maybe you discover the beliefs that being out of shape lets you hang out with your friends without feeling uncomfortable. Or maybe it lets you eat a whole pizza by yourself, or indulge in wings during the game. Everyone else does it and you want to fit it. Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll lose your friends if you get fit. Or if you decline an invitation to have a few beers and go to the gym instead, (get fit), your friend will dump you. After all, if they aren’t staying fit, and you get fit, then maybe you’ll be the outsider.
Be honest with yourself, even if it makes no sense at all. It is okay if it doesn’t make sense. Remember, once you uncover your secondary gain, you can start processing it and finding the truth about it and transform it. And then you get to decide what serves you best and move forward.