Remember that title to a song by the Spice Girls? It’s a very good question because many times we’re unclear about what we really, really want, at least consciously. We’re certainly attracted to many things, and passing thoughts of owning or experiencing all sorts of things cross our mind in the course of a day, but would we really, really want them? All of them? Likely not.
At a soul level, however, we all know what we want, and our souls are trying to give us a clue, especially when we’re veering off in a different direction. The secret, of course, is to learn how to first recognize and then listen to this very important internal directional system.
Do you remember playing a game called “Hot and Cold” when you were a child? Someone would leave the room and the other players would hide an object somewhere in the room. Then when the first player returned and began to look for the hidden item, the rest of the players would guide him or her by shouting “cool or cold or freezing” if he was moving away from the hidden object and “warm or hot or boiling” as he neared the hidden object.
That’s pretty much what our own internal guidance system does too, except that it speaks to us through feelings. If we’re heading in the direction of something we really, really want, something that is going to make us happy, it either just leaves us alone or sends us good feelings about where we’re headed. If we’re going away from what we want, however, those feelings tend toward doubt or wariness, even worry. Those are red flags to alert us that we’re not moving in the direction of the desires of our heart.
It’s only when we’re not paying attention to our remarkable and alert intuitive nature that we get lost and tend to be unsure of ourselves. So if that is happening to you; if you think you may want to make some change or add something new into your life but you’re not sure exactly what, there is a tool you can use to help clarify your thoughts and to recognize the guidance you are receiving..
The tool is called Life Design, and it consists of four, simple questions.
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
How will I feel when I get it?
What makes me believe I can have it?
Let’s say, for example, that you think you’d like a new car. Your current car may be serviceable still, but it’s sending out little warnings that parts of it are wearing out and fixing them is going to be expensive. Subconsciously you are toying with the idea of changing cars, but it’s not your primary focus, yet. Then one day, you find yourself parked next to a brand new Kia Soul. It’s kind of odd looking to you; square, compact, and lipstick red, still there’s something about it you find very appealing. Would you be happy owing a Kia Soul?
Why not use Life Design to find out? It works this way. On a plain piece of paper, write your four questions and the first answers that come to your mind.
What do I want? I want a Kia Soul.
Why do I want it? It’s compact. It’s serviceable. It’s economical. It’s interesting looking. It’s large enough to carry 5 passengers and luggage comfortably. It’s small enough to make it easy to park and maneuver. It has good convenience features.
How will I feel if I own a Kia, Soul? Smart, comfortable, playful.
What makes me believe I can have it? It’s easily in my price range. There are several dealerships so I can have my choice of colors and gadgets. I’m told they give a good trade-in value and my car is still in good shape.
If those positive answers come to you quickly as you ask your four questions, then you probably want to look up a Kia dealership and test drive a Soul. But equally importantly, Life Design can and will point up reasons why you don’t want a Kia Soul if you really, really don’t, because as soon as you ask “Why do I want it?”, either you won’t be able to think of any reasons why you want it or immediately the reasons you don’t want it will come right to mind. It’s too small. It’s too odd. It’s too different from what I’m used to driving. And then when you ask “How will I feel if I own one?” all the feelings that come right to your mind will be on the negative side.
In real life, when you’re trying to make a decision, a decisive “no” is as good as a rousing “yes”. As soon as you’re sure about what you really, really want and what you don’t, you’re free to move swiftly toward something or away from it with ease.
Life Design is the ideal tool to help you in making big decisions and small ones. Used thoughtfully and carefully, it will help you decide who you want to marry, what house to buy or pet to choose, what job or trip to take, and once you get used to using it, it can just as easily help you choose between chocolate and vanilla.
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