What I’ve been working on in the past year, and still trying to master is letting go of fear. My perception of what’s going to happen is always, always, always worse than what actually ends up happening. I’ve done meditation on letting go of fear, exercises on letting go of fear, weekend long workshops on letting of fear, and have read books about letting go of fear. Fear has a stronghold on most people. Some people get hung up on the fear of the past or things that they were taught by their parents. Things like “don’t throw that away because we’ll need it someday”, or “my mom was a great baker and I need to be a great baker”. Frustration and fear set in when what people really need is to let go of things or give up on the idea that there is a need for them to be just like their parents. We tend to cling on to fear and it gets us stuck, stuck in the past.
We are either living in the past or the future.
Some people immediately start looking into the future. There’s a projection of fear. What’s going to happen if I do this, or don’t do that? How is someone going to react if I tell them the truth? How am I ever going to make it with the money I earn now? If I become successful, I’ll lose the privacy I have now.
Where does that thinking come from? You see, we pull ourselves into two different directions – back to the past and into the future. Guess what happens when we are either living in the past or the future? Well, we are simply not present. We are so fearful about where we have been or where we’re about to go that we forget about where we are. We’ve all heard that fear is false evidence appearing real. It does seem like it’s real, but as someone I know explained, real fear is having a loaded gun held to your head in a dark alley. That’s REAL fear. Everything else seems like a piece of cake compared to that, doesn’t it?
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.
Why do we get so hung up on false fear? We’ve all heard that saying too that when one door closes, another one opens. We are so afraid of making the wrong decision that we leave doors unopened. We don’t investigate the options, and we leave ourselves stuck. Stuck in the muck of fear. I’ve been there, and I still go there sometimes. It all starts with awareness and asking the right questions. A book I recently read made a lot of sense as it relates to questions and awareness. The book was called “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”. It was recommended to me by a life coach and mental health counselor. Some of the questions the book teaches you to ask are “what’s possible?”, “what are my choices?”, and “what can I learn from this situation?” If we view things that we are going through as a learning experience and realize that even if we do make a mistake that we can simply make another choice that takes a lot of the perceived fear out of way.
If we can let go of fear, we can start creating new possibilities for ourselves, and help ourselves from getting stuck. If we want a new relationship, a new career, or even a new home, we can begin to close doors to the things that don’t serve us any longer. We can start opening up new doors and getting excited about it, and stop being in fear about it all the time. We can release ourselves from the worry – the worry about the past and the future. We can live and thrive in the present. All it takes is a conscious choice about letting go of fear. What’s behind your Door Number 1? You tell me!